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Coping with the Break up of a Relationship

By: Jack Claridge - Updated: 12 Oct 2012 | comments*Discuss
 
Life Coach Expert Lifecoachexpert

As adults we find ourselves having to deal with many unsavoury and unpleasant events during the course of our lives; bereavement, rejection, financial problems – and one of the most difficult periods in our adult lives is when we suffer the break up of a relationship.

Relationship Break Up

It is one of those things that happen, sometimes without warning and there is nothing we can do to avoid it. Suffering the break up of a relationship can leave us feeling unwanted, unloved and feeling as though we are a failure.

Relationships can break up for many different reasons these include:

  • Financial worries
  • Third Party Interference
  • Boredom
  • Distance

Again this is not an exhaustive list and there are many others as well that can fit the bill when it comes to a relationship turning sour.

However hard it may seem at the time there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Coping with a Break Up

When dealing with the break up of a relationship it is important to try and discuss the reasons for the break up. Arguing or trying to convince the other person that the relationship could continue is sometimes not the best policy. This can only serve to make the situation seem even more fraught and for the most part serves no purpose other than to cause more hut and unnecessary upset.

If the other person in the relationship is adamant that they no longer wish to continue with the relationship then it is perhaps wise to call a halt to proceedings and part amicably.

Many relationships dissolve because of the interference of a third party – another man or woman perhaps? If this is the case then it is best not to try and question yourself as to what they have that you don’t. This only serves to inflame the situation and can leave you feeling as though you are a failure or not worthy of another relationship.

It is difficult but sometimes the only course of action is to accept that the relationship is no longer viable and that the other party no longer feels the way they did about you.

During this time it is best to try and avoid alcohol; many people during a break up turn to alcohol as a means of numbing the pain and the hurt but alcohol only inflames it and causes tempers to flare. During this time things that can be said that cannot be unsaid and this only causes more hurt.

You will find that you probably won’t be able to sleep properly; if this is the case visit your doctor and ask for a short course of prescribed medication to help you sleep. But do try and relax when you can.

Maintain some semblance of normality where possible. Do not take time off work if you can avoid it. Work and friends are always a good source of time consumption and also a good way in which to forget about the events at home even if only for a short time.

Moving On

There will come a time when you feel you can move on and in that time you may well find that you meet someone else. There is nothing in any textbook that says you cannot find a new partner and be as happy as you were with the last one but the key is not to rush into anything. Move at your own pace.

If you find the idea of being on your own appealing then try it for a time. Find your own space and take up hobbies or socialise with friends.

When the time is right you will know and you will meet someone that is right for you but as we have already mentioned, the thing to do is take things slowly.

Also do not compare a past relationship to a new one as that will only seek to fuel thoughts of jealousy and can lead to paranoia which in itself can bring about the destruction of any healthy relationship.

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